Question 1: Do you have advice on how to set boundaries without feeling guilty / feeling like a failure?
Kaitlin Answer:
It is important to set intentional boundaries that align with your values and priorities. Whenever we lean into our value system, the boundaries and decisions we make won’t feel like guilt but will feel right for us and what we need right now. Boundaries are personal and no two individuals will make the same choice. Lean in, check in with yourself to make your boundary decisions personal and right for you.
Try to cultivate self-compassion and let go of perfectionism. “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself” - Anna Quindlen. Try Dr. Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Tools, https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/. One quote that has changed my life after reading the book, “Gifts of Imperfection” by Dr. Brene Brown, is to wake up in the morning and tell myself, “I’m going to believe that showing up is enough.”
Melody Answer:
Expect that part of you may have resistance to setting a boundary, especially if this is new for you and you are used to prioritizing others needs over your own
Feelings of guilt are common->notice that you are experiencing guilt, that it may be uncomfortable and try to be self-compassionate
Remind yourself that this is not about other people. Boundaries are about you and taking responsibility for yourself
You can acknowledge others feelings about your boundaries and care about them while still keeping your boundary
It takes practice!
Talk to others who can remind you how it important your boundaries are
Make a list of why you are setting boundaries
Here is a link to a podcast re. Boundaries. https://offtheclockpsych.com/eset-boundaries-find-peace/
Question 2 - How do we work with the struggle that our competence or knowledge/application is not being reflected in grades/performance?
Kaitlin Answer:
Try to remember that achieving an entry level pharmacist skill-set is more important than your grades; the ability to apply your knowledge to help improve a patient’s health outcome in practice is our ultimate goal, don’t let the grade define you. However, do take the necessary time after receiving a grade, to learn from the experience and look for opportunities to improve your patient care knowledge and skills.
Numerical grades received in a course is only one way to test knowledge and there has to be a minimum clinical competency standard that is required in professional health-care programs to ensure effective and safe patient-care.
It is important to note that some students struggle with test anxiety and test performance even though they have studied hard and know the content well. If this is you, make sure to reach out for support either to AccessAbility services to arrange for testing accommodations or to your academic advisors to work through the barriers you have identified.
We all have bad exam days and this happens from time to time. However, if you are noticing a pattern or trend it may just mean you need some extra support or might need to switch up how you study and/or prepare for tests. That’s okay, a lot of us discover in pharmacy school that we need to adjust our study practices to learn how to better apply our knowledge to patient care. This takes time to develop. Be patient with yourself. It will come!
Melody Answer:
I don’t think I have much more to add! I love what Kaitlin wrote. Working in the pharmacy field, it will be important that you are able to work with others and also that you are doing things to take care of yourself. Learning about how to take care of yourself, balance your priorities as well as how to get along with others is part of what will increase your competence in practice as well.
Question 3: What to do when demands of school start to cross our boundaries?
Kaitlin Answer:
When I meet with students to discuss this topic, I often ask them to think about and clearly state/define their expectations for School. If you feel that School workload is crossing your boundaries and contributing to burnout then you do need to consider some changes to help move from surviving to thriving. Sometimes redefining and reprioritizing your expectations and goals when it comes to how much you want to give to School can help overcome this challenge.
I also think it is important to consider talking it out with someone. A counsellor, peer, and/or academic advisor can help work with you on setting boundaries that are right for you. This is not a one size fits all approach and will require some thoughtful time and reflection to come to solutions that will work best for you and your health. It is important to think about your window of tolerance and what you need to get back into that window. Great advice from Melody at the Thrive Workshop about how to recognize when you are outside of the window and think about what you might need to get back to a healthy place.
Melody Answer:
Nothing more to add :)
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