Question:
Any tips on surviving long-distance relationships in pharmacy school? Especially now that we don't get summers off, and some terms don't have a reading week break.
Response 1:
I have been doing long distance with my boyfriend since I started Pharmacy school last January. He lives in Halifax, so it’s quite the distance. One thing I learned is not to put pressure on things like Skype dates. Saying “we will skype every day” can be hard because if someone is busy it really make you both feel bad for missing the date. But in real life if you were still in the same city there would be days when you are both busy and don’t see each other barely or at all. I also find little things help to remind them you’re thinking of them. Like sending them a YouTube video that made you laugh or texting them something you want to show them in the city the next time they visit. I know it is hard, but I am (and many of my classmates) are doing it.
Response 2:
I have been doing long distance ever since I started pharmacy school, which was something I dreaded doing for years before I even left home. For me, there were many ways I found it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Not a day goes by where I don’t miss him, but this always reminds me that we have something really great and even if we can’t be together right now, it is worth the wait. When I have a great day or a really bad day, he’s the one I want to talk to about it. That being said, one of the biggest challenges for me was making it through times where we weren’t keeping in touch as much as I would have liked (usually when one or both of us was very busy). It’s so important to be patient with each other and realize that a lot is going on in the other person’s life that you’re probably not thinking much about because you’re busy living a completely different life. Pretty much through the first year of pharmacy school I had a count down going of how many days until we got to see each other because it helped me to have something to look forward to and focus on. In later years, that was something I stopped doing because even though it never gets easy, it does get easier. Finally, I surround myself with things that remind me of the memories we have had together as much as I can because it’s a great reminder for me to do my part to keep in touch when I’m busy, and it also brings me happiness.
Response 3:
One of the most important things in a relationship is communication - this becomes even more important when you are in a long-distance relationship. Many problems stemming from miscommunication can be easily solved when two people are able to see each other everyday or every couple of days. Once the relationship becomes long-distance, it is so important to not let things get brushed under the rug. If something bothers you - let your significant other know and talk things out. Pharmacy school is so stressful already so the last thing you want is to have relationship problems that prevent you from being able to have a good night’s sleep.
The previous peer mentors gave a lot of good advice on how to cope with the distance but I feel that it’s also important to give a different perspective! If your relationship is falling apart and you feel like there are more unhappy times than there are happy, it is also important to know when you have to stop hanging on and let go. I personally had to go through this and although it was a terrible time and a difficult decision, I know that what I did was best for me. Long distance relationships are tough but if things are meant to be, you should be able to tell. If the relationship at baseline has problems, then the distance itself can do two things: 1) It will only exacerbate and multiply these problems OR 2) it makes it easier to avoid the problems even more because of the distance. Either way, the distance itself might be a good way for you to assess the relationship from a more objective perspective (since you are further away from each other).