Question:
Recently, I lost a close friendship with someone in my class. I had made a decision that I thought would be best, but it ended up completely ruining the friendship. Before all of this happened, we would hang out and study together a lot, and we would support each other to help each other get through bad days. Now, we hang out much less, and even if we do, we don't try to connect with each other the same way that we used to.
Because of this, I feel as though I've lost everything, and I feel like nothing is worth it anymore. I can't bring myself to study, because all studying does is remind me of them. I also can't stop worrying about them, but because I'm no longer in a position where I can show concern for them, I have no way of knowing how they're really doing. Although I have other supportive friends that I'm thankful for, this is one thing I haven't really told anyone about. Losing that one friend has been really affecting my ability to stay motivated and keep up with school this term, and I feel so stuck - I know there's nothing I can do to fix what happened, but I'm having such a hard time accepting this as reality. I often wish I could just shut off everything that I'm feeling.
How do I get myself to move on from what had happened?
Response 1: Hi there. First I wanted to start by saying I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Everyone has friendship troubles and they are difficult. I am sending you many good vibes. Take some time for self-care to relax. Friendships are definitely hard. The important thing to remember is that you made the decision you felt was best for you. Sometimes you have to protect yourself and that is okay. I completely understand your feelings about losing a friendship, especially when it sounds like you were so close. And there are ways to work on things so hopefully you can move past it. Maybe a conversation with this person would be best. Explain how you feel about the situation and they would have a chance to convey their feelings as well. I find using “I feel” statements are especially helpful. Instead of blaming the person or trying to make them feel bad (not that you are doing it intentionally, but it can be interpreted that way) you are bringing the focus back to you. For example, “when you said ____, I felt ____.” Though this may not result in a complete rejuvenation of your friendship, it can give you both some closure that can help you both move on and hopefully start rebuilding the foundation of your friendship again. I would also recommend booking an appointment for some one-on-one peer support with us (RxPRN) or go see a counsellor at health services. Sometimes it is nice to just vent to a third party person who can give you some completely unbiased advice. Response 2: Hey! To add to the previous response, I would say do your best getting to know more people in your class. I know it's a small class and it may seem like alot of people already have their clicks, but you may be pleasantly surprised to find many opportunities to form new friendships. Go to the social events, talk to your classmates in the hallways and in your groups, and just get involved in general! It’s a positive way to recover from such a loss and will help you over the long run.I also strongly agree with the previous response in regards to booking an appointment with counselling services. There is a counselor that comes to our pharmacy campus regularly and would be a good way to start the process of healing.All the best and I hope this helps even just a little bit :)