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Jun 19, 20217 min read

Dealing with SI and School

Updated: Jun 23, 2021

[Content Warning: Please be advised that this post contains the discussion of SI]


Question: Do you have advice for lack of motivation/concentration and suicidal ideation? I can barely focus on school and I think my mental health conditions are ruining things. I'm worried I may fail or not complete this program. To others who have experienced suicidal thoughts or being preoccupied by mental illness, how have you dealt with it? What has helped you continue with pharmacy school/in general? Thank you so much.


 

Response #1:


I would like to start by saying that your feelings are 100% valid. Give yourself grace. You have come so far in this journey. You are working hard in a global pandemic. You are reaching out for help when you need it. You are taking the steps to improve. This just proves that you are capable of getting through this.


I know you are feeling a lot right now. The most important thing right now is to find a source of release. Whether that is eating a nice, full meal, drinking a hot (or cold) beverage, getting some fresh air or crying it out. You have all the time in the world to figure this out. First, take care of your needs so you are ready to push through. What helps me when I’m struggling in the moment is voicing it to my family and friends. Whether that is sitting with me in silence so I didn’t feel alone or hearing me rant (sometimes excessively). Knowing there was someone there for me made it easier.


While I cannot relate on the suicidal ideation part, I can tell you that my mental health (i.e., anxiety and insomnia) has been a major barrier in this program so far. I definitely felt what you are feeling. Worries about not finishing the program or feeling like you are not doing enough academically because of your mental health. These are all feelings I am very familiar with. There was a point last term that I really wanted to take a leave of absence so I could focus on my mental health. I didn’t feel that I was mentally equipped for how vigorous this program is. I will tell you what I wish someone would have told me 2-3 months ago: Take a breath and give yourself some time to reflect on what you want. Do you feel that you are able to continue and be happy? Do you think you need more time? Do you need someone else to guide you through this hurdle? If you feel that you want to focus on your mental health then I would highly encourage you to do so. There is absolutely NO pressure to finish this program in 4 years. This is your academic journey and no one else’s. Life is truly too short to feel stuck. Be kind to yourself and figure out what you need at this very moment. This program or whatever path you wish to be on will be here when you are ready.


Here are some mental health resources available: (See Below)


 

Response#2


First of all, I want to commend you for reaching out to RxPRN and being vulnerable. Reaching out is definitely the first step so I’m so proud of you for that!

I’m truly sorry to hear you have been struggling. I can certainly relate to finding it difficult to concentrate and stay motivated when you feel like you are trapped in a room, quite literally, and being swallowed by the number of things on your to do list. I want you to know you are not alone! Pharmacy school is really freaking hard and on top of things, you are doing it all during a global pandemic!

Personally, I had an extremely difficult last term. I was suffering from extreme anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia and frequent and debilitating migraines. I reached out to a mentor and she made me aware of all the resources available to me and encouraged me to get help. I met with a school counselor, got in contact with Becky and Kaitlin, approached Accessibility services, and had a phone conversation with my family doctor. All together, they really helped me put things into perspective, understand all of the options available to me, and provide me with the support that I so desperately needed. Now I can fully say, I feel much more control of my stress and have strategies in place to help me cope. It fully does get better and you are already on the right path!

I know it’s a difficult step to take but I want to encourage you to seek professional help. Right now, your mental health and physical health is the priority. Because you’re experiencing suicidal ideation, I would suggest you go to the hospital and have a close friend or someone you feel comfortable with to go with you.

I’m here for you and so proud of you for reaching out to us.

In the meantime, I’m going to link a number of resources that are available to you below. (See below)


If you want to speak with one of our peer mentors (myself included) and work through this together, we are here for you!


 

Response #3


I know a lot is going on right now, and I am so sorry that you are going through this. I find that taking care of my mental health in itself is already a daily task, having to handle academics and motivation on top of that often feels overwhelming. Mental health is so dynamic, I have some good days, but sometimes it feels like I’ve only experienced bad days. On days I don’t feel like doing anything, I remind myself that it’s okay to not have all the answers right now, it’s okay to not have my life revolve around school. I might feel like others are at a different place than I am, but that’s not entirely true; I’ve been working hard on my mental health which may not come as easily to me as it does with others.


In terms of motivation, take it one day at a time. Day at day, task by task. Whether that is only completing the schoolwork for one course or completing housework. Don’t get me wrong, there might be days where you feel where you are falling behind but taking it slow will allow you to celebrate your small victories. And you should celebrate all your small victories, because you are doing great! And you deserve great things!


Another thing that has worked for me is telling someone in my personal life who I trust about how I feel and making them aware of what I am experiencing. This step is a little scary, but was so necessary for me. It has made me realize that I am not as alone as I feel. It has also been a way for me to validate my emotions, oftentimes I play down my emotions, but telling someone else is my way of acknowledging what I am going through. I am not my emotions, and my thoughts don’t dictate who I am.


You have RxPRN, and you also have Kaitlin and Becky and Melody. We are all here to support you.


 

Response #4


We first want to acknowledge that maintaining motivation in an online learning environment is challenging. You are not alone in this struggle. As pharmacy advisors we meet with many PharmD learners on a weekly basis who are experiencing barriers to motivation and are looking for new strategies to manage some of these barriers to effectively improve motivation and concentration. Some general strategies we can suggest include:

  • Don’t let emotion determine action

  • Focus on one issue at a time

  • Take breaks

  • Use positive self-talk

  • Try to see the big picture

  • Talk it out

The last point likely being the most important universal strategy for everyone. Talk it out. Consider who is in your support system. If you don’t have one, think about the people in your life and resources within the broader University and School community to build your support system. Talking about your stress can help minimize anxiety. Who you talk it out with is going to look different for each person but here are some options to consider:


  • Peers – UW MATES

  • Advisors – pharmacy.advisor@uwaterloo.ca – if you are unwell and can’t meet your academic commitments, there are accommodation supports offered by the School and University.

    • University - AccessAbility services - helps to provide accommodations and support to students whose academics are being impacted by their health (mental or physical).

    • School – Student support webpage listing available resources and procedures for student absence.

  • Professionals - Counselling services (519-888-4567 ext. 32655); EmpowerME (1-833-628-5589); Here 24/7: 1-844-437-3247 ; TTY: 1-877-688-5501; Good2Talk: 1-866-925-5454


Understand you’re in a transition time and transitions are not easy. If you feel overwhelmed it doesn’t mean that going to pharmacy was a bad decision for you. You’re just going through a transition. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’re not alone in this transition time.

As your pharmacy advisors we want you to know that we believe in you and you deserve to be here. No one’s PharmD journey is the same, which is why we are here to help support you to create your own unique path forward.



- Your Pharmacy Advisors


 

Confidential Resources and Helplines




Please feel free to continue reaching out to us or asking any additional questions. We can always set up another mode of communication or connect you with a mentor.


If there is a specific mentor/ type of mentor you would like to contact you can also do so https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdSFamEDp8IBVfXSH4B97yhw9GLzbCFTw7Lb1gPY7jKcFS4Pw/viewform or by emailing us directly at; uwrxprn@gmail.com We would be more than willing to connect you with more resources or people.


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